Step One: Wonder

Choosing the name “Wonderment” grew out of something I observed again and again while working with children, families, and professionals: the more curious we are, the easier it becomes to solve our own problems—big or small. It’s intuitive in many ways: we naturally lean into learning when we’re interested, and we disengage when we’ve already made up our minds.

In therapy, curiosity is always our starting point. I let my own curiosity guide me as my clients and I get to know one another, and my clients begin to understand themselves more deeply as they explore their own answers.

The more we are willing to wonder, the smoother the path to discovery becomes.

Research supports this—curiosity and wonder activate the brain’s reward and learning systems, boosting motivation, attention, and memory (Gruber et al., 2014). They also help with emotional regulation by making the brain more open, engaged, and receptive to new experiences (Immordino-Yang et al., 2019).

I share this in hopes of getting you wondering—inviting curiosity into your own biggest stressors and relational challenges.

Here are a few questions to spark that curiosity the next time you’re struggling:

• When this challenge comes up, what usually happens for you—what thoughts, feelings, or reactions do you notice?

• Do you see any patterns in when or where this tends to happen?

• Which parts of this situation feel within your control, and which parts don’t?

• What have you already tried to help with this? How did it go, and what does that tell you about what might help next time?