Does my child need professional support after a tragedy?
- Ana Alman McRae
- Sep 4, 2025
- 3 min read
Updated: Sep 8, 2025
*Note: this article was written in response to 2025 Annunciation School shooting, however, general principles apply to crises and tragedies at large.
In times of crisis, children and adolescents look for adults and peers for stability, connection, and security. Professional help should enhance support from natural networks. For the majority of children (about 2 out of 3) difficulties will resolve in time with adequate support from family, friends, and other trusted adults. While memories of a tragedy will always be painful, they may not impact the mental health of children longterm.
The following information is intended to reinforce supports you are already providing your child and offer guidance about when to seek professional help.
In the first 4-8 weeks after a traumatic event, focus on monitoring your child and offering support.
What to expect in the first 4-8 weeks
What's Common | How to Support |
Appearing numb or unbothered | Calm and console your child |
Declining opportunities to talk about the event | Offer time with safe people |
Sleep Disturbances/ Nightmares | Remind your child of safety at home or in the community |
Decreased distress tolerance and diminished ability to self-regulate | Review tangible safety measures in place at school |
Heightened emotional reactions | Remind your child, "I know how to take care of you, even if I am sad/mad or worried." |
Behaviors that seem "too young" | Provide opportunities for physical activity and movement |
Separation anxiety | Normalize your child's emotional reactions to the event |
Difficulty with daily tasks | Provide love, affection, support and attention |
Imaginary play or art with violent themes | Remind your child that traumatic events are not their fault |
Provide opportunities to play or create art freely |
What to expect from months 2 through 6
What's Common | How to Support |
Initial difficulties decrease in frequency and intensity | Individual therapy assessment if behaviors are still disrupting daily activities or hobbies |
Increased ability to make meaning of the event and fit it into the story of their life | Foster a sense of family and community |
Increased sadness and expressions of grief | Group discussions at school about self-regulation and how stress affects learning |
Encourage Time with peers for age-appropriate activities |
During anniversaries or reminders of the traumatic experience
● It is normal to experience an uptick in symptoms listed above
● Create opportunity for discussion of the event with school, community and supportive persons
● Offer space for ritual and memory, individually or with others affected
Questions for Self-Assessment
It is entirely normal to be concerned about your child’s recovery from a traumatic event. Use your judgment as a caregiver to determine if and when a professional assessment might be the best next move for your child. You know your child
better than anyone else. After the first month of monitoring and supporting your child, here are some questions to guide your decision about seeking additional therapeutic support.
If you find yourself answering “yes” to these questions, consider seeking consultation from a trusted professional to determine whether therapy might benefit your child:
Is my child demonstrating consistently worsening distress over the traumatic event?
Has my child sustained a loss of academic or developmental skills?
Is my child isolating from social support they would otherwise connect with?
Has my child demonstrated a lack of enjoyment in things they used to enjoy?
Has my child expressed a feeling of hopelessness?
Authors: Will Carlson, LICSW & Ana McRae, LICSW
Document included for paper distribution.
Additional Resources
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network:
The National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement:
UMN Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences
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